“Does it feel real yet?” “I think so?” I scanned my much emptier home. One stack of boxes sat in the furthest corner, the other behind me. I had been in this house for seven years now, which in the time of typical early-to-mid-20’s apartment hopping felt like a lifetime.

“Are you one of those people that has to cheers every time we get a drink?” His tone was the shade of smug-meets-playful that knew he was asking a rhetorical question.

I blushed, Uhh no, I just think it’s nice to do at the beginning!

I grew up hearing that too. Sex should be special. But how exactly does that work? If you’re waiting until marriage and sex with them isn’t “special,” did you totally fuck everything up?

“I’m having a good time,” I say out loud. I’m having a better time than good, and I’m going to make sure it keeps getting gooder and gooder. But I like to keep a few cards to myself.

I am not the only blonde or funny or curvaceous or tall escort. But I am the only Anna Carter. In this regard, the only competition would be like…if a hotter, funnier future-me came to the present. And while I do keep getting hotter and funnier with every passing moment, I regret to inform you that you’re stuck with my current, present form.

And when I was in positions like the ones I mentioned above, people helped. They might not have a lot either. But they helped because they care about you specifically or they care about people in general or they just understand what it’s like to feel totally helpless…and then have someone help.

Three different blog post ideas had been circling my brain for the past couple of months. None of them had coalesced into anything, but this morning I had a thought while I was making my coffee – they’re all the same thing. I’ll explain.

I feel like I used to fight time. That sounds kind of silly, but I believe we all have. We want time to be linear, to be structured, to be logical, to be what we want. But look at your life. You don’t plan for some of the best stuff that’s happened just like you can’t plan for misfortune.

Contrary to what some people tell you, you can’t just change your attitude and be peaceful all the time. I like to think of peace like a flower or a plant. If you want certain results: flowers to bloom, new leaves to unfurl – you cultivate an environment where it can flourish. Copious amounts of patience and tending are required.