The Big News
I scanned my much emptier home. One stack of boxes sat in the furthest corner, the other behind me. I had been in this house for seven years now, which in the time of typical early-to-mid-20’s apartment hopping felt like a lifetime.
One of my cats laid at my feet in the living room rolling around on the now unobstructed rug. The other sat on a roll of bubble wrap underneath the dining room table. They knew something was happening, but hadn’t figured out what.
The plan is in motion, but I haven’t stood still long enough to take it all in. I’m not entirely sure that it feels real, not yet.
“It will feel real when I sign the lease,”
“It will feel real when everything is in boxes,”
“It will feel real when I sell my car,”
“It will feel real when the movers come,”
“It will feel real when I drive away for the last time,”
The truth is that I don’t have an answer. Maybe it will feel real once I’ve conquered my moving to do list and all of my utilities are set up. Maybe it will feel real after my final auto-payment from Georgia Power has been deducted from my account.
Maybe it will never feel real.
I’ve never moved anywhere by myself before. I mean, I went to college and lived in apartments off-campus. I moved to Atlanta post-graduation. But I’ve never really picked up and left. I like to think that it’s because I just love the South too much and that I’m more than content with where I’m at. And while that’s true, it’s not the whole story. The truth is that I’m terrified. What if I move and my apartment turns out to be awful and my cats are miserable and I’m miserable and I’m a small fish in a big pond and I’m just like everyone else and no one books me and my business fails and I can’t pay my rent and I become homeless or even worse I have to move back in with my parents???
I’ve felt this way for a long time: stuck in a rut but happy enough with where I’m at and too afraid that attempting to change the status quo will result in an even worse fate. The unhappinesses that you know are easier to manage than the unhappinesses that you don’t. And the myriad and sundry unhappinesses that I speak of have nothing to do with the work that I do or the people that I see here. If anything I get treated so well that I’ve been more than content to keep on keeping on this path.
I’m sad to leave. There are a million things that I will miss! I will miss sitting on my big, beautiful covered back porch and drinking with my friends. I will miss being able to give my cats the freedom of letting them outside. I will miss knowing and being close with my neighbors. I will miss having a car that I can keep a jacket in just in case the weather changes while I’m out. I will miss being able to watch porn without headphones because of the privacy afforded by living in a house. I will miss this life which was so carefully curated to provide all the comfort and convenience I could ever want or need.
But sometimes that carefully curated life of comfort and convenience begins to feel small and claustrophobic. Suddenly you look around and think, what happened to all those dreams I had when I was younger of getting out and exploring the world? What happened to my courage?
Earlier this year my best friend asked me, “What are you still doing here?” I knew exactly what she meant, and I was reminded why she is my best friend. I hemmed and hawed, but a small voice in the deepest part of me said, “It’s not too late,”
The planning hasn’t been easy. It still doesn’t feel real, and I don’t exactly know when it will. I don’t know when I will feel settled. I don’t know what problems lay in store for me and the cats, but I’m excited to see.
Sorry to bury the lede, but I’m moving to New York (Manhattan, specifically).
I’m moving soon soon. Like…next week. It’s scary, but mostly exciting. I haven’t told much of anyone because at certain points I wasn’t sure if it was going to happen. And it’s also been happening very quickly. There’s still a part of me that worries that the rug is about to get pulled out from under me, “Haha you thought you could leave?! Everyone come look, Anna thought she was going to finally get out and explore the world!! What an idiot!!!”
I almost was going to wait until I was fully moved in order to not jinx myself, but, well, the inquires have been coming in and I hate that I’ve been leaving so many people on read. I will not be seeing any more clients in Atlanta before I move as all of my time and energy will be focused on squaring away the logistics of getting me and my cats to our new home. Thank you to all the wonderful boyfriends I’ve had in Atlanta. You’ve made me feel so special on such a regular basis.
But don’t worry, Atlanta, y’all ain’t done with me completely. I’ll be back on a semi-regular basis to get my hair done (and see family and friends, of course…but first and foremost for my hair.) I’ll always have any Atlanta dates posted on my Twitter. And I can always be bribed to come home if the offer is sweet enough.
New York: I’m excited to see what all the fuss is about. I’m very excited to meet all y’all. I’ll have a private incall in Manhattan that I will begin hosting from at the end of May. Specific dates TBA.
If you’d like to send me a little housewarming gift, you can do so through CashApp or my wishlist.
CashApp: $ANNACARTER35
Wishlist: Wishtender
Hi! I’m Anna Carter, a GFE escort in Manhattan, NYC. I’m originally from Atlanta, GA.