The onslaught of pumpkin spice stirs an irrational irritation not because I dislike Pumpkin Spice Lattes™, but because its debut reminds me that consistent Fall weather is at least 2 months away.

“Does it feel real yet?” “I think so?” I scanned my much emptier home. One stack of boxes sat in the furthest corner, the other behind me. I had been in this house for seven years now, which in the time of typical early-to-mid-20’s apartment hopping felt like a lifetime.

You might have heard a companion say, “Tips are not necessary, but always appreciated.” Or maybe you’ve heard that you should tip if you experienced exceptional service…but what does that really mean?

I like to ask people why they decided to reach out to me. Maybe something about my ad piqued your interest, maybe you just love my Twitter, maybe my SEO efforts are finally yielding fruit. I’m not fishing for compliments…don’t get me wrong, I’m not gonna turn down a compliment. I’m a Leo after all. (August 5. Mark your calendars.)

I grew up hearing that too. Sex should be special. But how exactly does that work? If you’re waiting until marriage and sex with them isn’t “special,” did you totally fuck everything up?

I feel for couples who are looking to have their first threesome. What if instead of hunting down a stranger with limited experience, you hired an escort for your threesome?

A step-by-step guide for first-time clients on how to find, hire, and book an escort from me, an escort that you can find and book (if you’d like.)

“You aren’t treating this like a therapy session. We’re just talking.” Our conversation had become more serious, but it wasn't a burden. We were talking about our lives...which are kinda stressful these days. Every problem is a crisis. Emergency is the rule, not the exception. The funniest part was…this was very similar to therapy (but not in the way he thought.)

I am not the only blonde or funny or curvaceous or tall escort. But I am the only Anna Carter. In this regard, the only competition would be like…if a hotter, funnier future-me came to the present. And while I do keep getting hotter and funnier with every passing moment, I regret to inform you that you’re stuck with my current, present form.

I get distracted so easily, it’s embarrassing. Music of any kind is absolutely out of the question. If I’m reading, I cut off at least 45 minutes so that with every word my mind doesn’t flit to work that needs to be done, dishes that need to be cleaned, cats that need to fed.